Friday, January 7, 2011

"I was woken up this morning by the massive sound of everyone dropping their new year's resolutions" --David Spade

Every New Year, I make the same resolutions. Lose weight, bring up my GPA, and read more books. And every year, they're broken by Week 1. This year, I decided to go with resolutions that may be more easily feasible.

Ingrid's 2011 New Year's Resolutions

1. Don’t drop anything in the toilet.
2. Learn something other than a bad karaoke version of “I Will Always Love You” with which to serenade my roommates while in the shower.
3. Try to limit my shoe shopping to just one pair of hot pink heels.
4. Stop gorging on pokey sticks, pizza, Chinese takeout and Ben and Jerry’s every weekend with the justification that “calories don’t count on weekends.” My skinny jeans are now telling me “yeah, they do.”
5. Broaden my horizons in the kitchen—and stop considering “adding an egg to the Ramen Noodles” to be sophisticated cooking.
6. If I’m going to take the bus, it has to be for longer than just one stop. Unless it’s raining. Or snowing. Or exceptionally cold, windy, cloudy, or anything other than 70-degree sunny skies.
7. Stop using the excuse of “having a good hair day” for not going to the gym.
8. Change my sheets.