The title says it all. Here are 20 things you literally have to be a girl to understand.
1. I hate when I put my hair in a pony tail, and one hair is pulled just a bit too tight so that I have to redo the whole thing.
2. No matter what the Always commercial says, periods are NEVER happy.
3. I could easily eat more than two pieces of pizza—I just don’t want to look like a pig.
4. In order to stop myself from texting the guy I was into, I wrote “DON’T TEXT (NAME)” on a sticky note, took a picture of it with my phone, and set it as my background.
5. No matter how carefully I shave, I always, always miss the underside of my thighs.
6. If I know I’m going to wear peep-toe heels, I’ll only paint my first three toenails; what’s the point of painting the rest if nobody is going to see them?
7. I love picking off split ends—especially when the split ends have split themselves. So awesomely disgusting, yet fascinating.
8. I HATE my guy friends when they tell me they’re trying to gain weight because they’re "too skinny."
9. I love sex jokes too, but I feel like if I laugh at them around guys, they’ll think I’m slutty.
10. Even when I know nobody will see them, I wear sexy underwear just to feel good.
11. I absolutely dread the day I accidentally fart in front of a boy.
12. I have perfected the art of sucking in my belly while keeping my shoulders and face relaxed for pictures.
13. Sometimes, I’ll put on an outfit that I think looks good, and then 10 minutes later I’ll look in the mirror and feel completely fat and have to change.
14. I often plan my outfit around the shoes I want to wear.
15. You know when you can barely get newly-washed jeans on in the morning, and then by night they have stretched out to about 3 sizes too big? That’s the worst.
16. When I’m mad at someone, I don’t feel like punching her; I just want to call her fat.
17. Sometimes it’s fun to play into the typical girl role, but my love for Edward Cullen, Patrick Dempsey and Brad Pitt will never actually hinder my real romantic life.
18. I hate being the last one to say “goodbye,” and I will stay online for as long as possible to give the guy a chance to respond.
19. Don't you hate it when you put your hair in a messy bun to wash your face at night, and it turns out PERFECT? And then you try to sleep with it so you can recreate it tomorrow, but when you wake up it's not the same.
20. I'm not actually cold; sometimes I just want to see if the guy I'm with will offer his sweatshirt. But he usually doesn't.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Ingrid's QUITHS (Quirks, Unusual Inclinations, Tendencies, Habits and Secrets)
I talk out loud to myself when setting my alarm clock at night. For some reason, I just cannot focus unless I literally stop everything and dictate to myself in real-time my alarm process. A running monologue, transcribed, would look roughly like this:
“Okay, so let’s see…I have a 9:45 tomorrow…so, umm, I’ll wake up…aaat…8:55. Soo, snooze, um…8:55 to 8:46, 8:46 to eight thirtyyy seven. Good.”
This strange habit never really hit me until last night when I was in my bed as usual, extending my arm across my body in an awkward stretch, pushing the buttons on my iHome. Suddenly, I stopped speaking, totally weirded out by my own habit. Why do I have to talk to myself, when my brain is perfectly capable of doing everything without the help of my voice box?
I must be a weirdo.
This revelation led me to think about other strange quirks, habits and tendencies I have that, I believe, other people must understand but are too embarrassed to admit. Therefore, I will break the ice. Here is a list of my Quirks, Unusual Inclinations, Tendencies, Habits and Secrets. I call them…QUITHS
1. Whenever I witness something amusing, I will send out a mass text to all the people who I think will respond. A prime example: “I just walked past the most unfortunate case of cankles I have ever seen in my life.” (Sent to approximately 12 people.)
2. After I get ready to go out, I always look in the mirror and smile to myself. I have no idea why I do this.
3. If you say you have never peed in the shower, you’re lying to me. I do it, you do it, and everyone else does it.
4. The day before I begin a diet, I will eat as much food as I can, regardless of hunger status or fat content, with this mindset: “I’m not gonna be able to do this again for a long time, so I better get all the bad stuff in now when I still can.”
5. Corollary: When I’m on my diet, I’m perfect. But if I eat one bad thing, the whole diet is shot for the day and I end up shoving my face with mac ‘n’ cheese and ice cream, telling myself I will restart tomorrow.
6. When I was little, I was unable to stub one toe without purposefully stubbing the one on the other foot. The asymmetry would bother me.
7. I sleep with a teddy bear, not because of sentimental value (I’ve only had it for 2 years), but because I can’t sleep on my side without having it prop up my left arm.
8. When I’m at the library and notice a boy studying for the same class I am, I will hold my textbook up while reading it so he sees that we’re in the same class.
9. On that note, if a person next to me in the library is working on really difficult calculus homework, I try as hard as I can to hide the fact that my book says TRIGONOMETRY.
10. Every night, I pick out my outfit for the next day, even if it’s just shorts and a beater to go to the gym.
11. I have become so used to comments on my Facebook statuses, that if I don’t get at least a “like” within 1 hour of putting it up, I delete it and try again.
12. At least 5 or 6 times in my life, when I answered a question in a big class, my sympathetic nervous system went out of whack—I’m talking flushed face, quick breathing, thumping heart, sweaty palms. The weird thing is, it only happened AFTER I answered—and I voluntarily raised my hand.
13. If I look good one day, after a quick scan I will choose my route through the commons, library, dining hall, etc., according to how many boys I will pass on my way (and when I’m having a fat day, I avoid those routes).
14. If I’m walking behind or in front of a really intriguing conversation, I will turn off my iPod (keeping the ear buds in so they don’t know I’m eavesdropping), and listen for as long as possible. (Note: This is especially the case when a couple is arguing.)
15. I try to pick a treadmill next to a guy so I can impress him…and I get annoyed when he gets off his treadmill and a girl takes it. What’s the point then?
16. My ears have been popping more or less nonstop since 7th grade. The only way I can get them to unpop is to plug my nose and suck in. I’ve learned how to do this so quickly and suddenly, though, that it is virtually unnoticeable.
17. I whistle all the time and I usually don’t even realize I’m doing it.
18. Sometimes when I’m running, I’ll get a cramp, followed by a brief panic attack as I frantically try to remember on which side of my body my appendix is located.
19. When I brush my teeth using my right hand, I always rest my left hand against my stomach.
There you have it. 19 brutally honest, slightly embarrassing, and totally strange quirks, unusual inclinations, tendencies, habits, and secrets about me. And now it’s your turn—what are some quirky tendencies you have (or may share with me), but have never had the opportunity to tell anyone?
As Jim Morrison once said…”Where’s your will to be weird?”
“Okay, so let’s see…I have a 9:45 tomorrow…so, umm, I’ll wake up…aaat…8:55. Soo, snooze, um…8:55 to 8:46, 8:46 to eight thirtyyy seven. Good.”
This strange habit never really hit me until last night when I was in my bed as usual, extending my arm across my body in an awkward stretch, pushing the buttons on my iHome. Suddenly, I stopped speaking, totally weirded out by my own habit. Why do I have to talk to myself, when my brain is perfectly capable of doing everything without the help of my voice box?
I must be a weirdo.
This revelation led me to think about other strange quirks, habits and tendencies I have that, I believe, other people must understand but are too embarrassed to admit. Therefore, I will break the ice. Here is a list of my Quirks, Unusual Inclinations, Tendencies, Habits and Secrets. I call them…QUITHS
1. Whenever I witness something amusing, I will send out a mass text to all the people who I think will respond. A prime example: “I just walked past the most unfortunate case of cankles I have ever seen in my life.” (Sent to approximately 12 people.)
2. After I get ready to go out, I always look in the mirror and smile to myself. I have no idea why I do this.
3. If you say you have never peed in the shower, you’re lying to me. I do it, you do it, and everyone else does it.
4. The day before I begin a diet, I will eat as much food as I can, regardless of hunger status or fat content, with this mindset: “I’m not gonna be able to do this again for a long time, so I better get all the bad stuff in now when I still can.”
5. Corollary: When I’m on my diet, I’m perfect. But if I eat one bad thing, the whole diet is shot for the day and I end up shoving my face with mac ‘n’ cheese and ice cream, telling myself I will restart tomorrow.
6. When I was little, I was unable to stub one toe without purposefully stubbing the one on the other foot. The asymmetry would bother me.
7. I sleep with a teddy bear, not because of sentimental value (I’ve only had it for 2 years), but because I can’t sleep on my side without having it prop up my left arm.
8. When I’m at the library and notice a boy studying for the same class I am, I will hold my textbook up while reading it so he sees that we’re in the same class.
9. On that note, if a person next to me in the library is working on really difficult calculus homework, I try as hard as I can to hide the fact that my book says TRIGONOMETRY.
10. Every night, I pick out my outfit for the next day, even if it’s just shorts and a beater to go to the gym.
11. I have become so used to comments on my Facebook statuses, that if I don’t get at least a “like” within 1 hour of putting it up, I delete it and try again.
12. At least 5 or 6 times in my life, when I answered a question in a big class, my sympathetic nervous system went out of whack—I’m talking flushed face, quick breathing, thumping heart, sweaty palms. The weird thing is, it only happened AFTER I answered—and I voluntarily raised my hand.
13. If I look good one day, after a quick scan I will choose my route through the commons, library, dining hall, etc., according to how many boys I will pass on my way (and when I’m having a fat day, I avoid those routes).
14. If I’m walking behind or in front of a really intriguing conversation, I will turn off my iPod (keeping the ear buds in so they don’t know I’m eavesdropping), and listen for as long as possible. (Note: This is especially the case when a couple is arguing.)
15. I try to pick a treadmill next to a guy so I can impress him…and I get annoyed when he gets off his treadmill and a girl takes it. What’s the point then?
16. My ears have been popping more or less nonstop since 7th grade. The only way I can get them to unpop is to plug my nose and suck in. I’ve learned how to do this so quickly and suddenly, though, that it is virtually unnoticeable.
17. I whistle all the time and I usually don’t even realize I’m doing it.
18. Sometimes when I’m running, I’ll get a cramp, followed by a brief panic attack as I frantically try to remember on which side of my body my appendix is located.
19. When I brush my teeth using my right hand, I always rest my left hand against my stomach.
There you have it. 19 brutally honest, slightly embarrassing, and totally strange quirks, unusual inclinations, tendencies, habits, and secrets about me. And now it’s your turn—what are some quirky tendencies you have (or may share with me), but have never had the opportunity to tell anyone?
As Jim Morrison once said…”Where’s your will to be weird?”
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